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I’m Not Positive, I Am Trying to be Pragmatic

I am not positive, I am pragmatic.  Or at least that is what I strive to be much of the time. It may seem like my attitude toward problem solving is positive, but the reality is that it is rooted in pragmatism.  Pragmatism is more concerned with matters of fact than of what could or should be.

It is one of the reason, I make lists. It is too easy to get caught up in what the day should be and forget what needs to be done. Or more to the point, it is how to keep myself focused so that I can write and maintain a job, all the while living with depression, anxiety and chronic pain.

There is no use in panicking. Panic doesn’t solve problems. It tends to add fuel to the fire or worse starts the fire. And if I let myself, I will panic. I will freak out. And with that wave of chaos comes the threat of a complete shut down which I can ill afford.

I am also not negative, well at least not overly so. I tend to look at things thought the eyes of experience. Sometimes, this means that I am not outwardly shocked when bad things happen. It means while I don’t want or wish them to happen, I don’t let them crush me at least not for long.

Isn’t there a saying about if you are going through Hell don’t slow down because you might get out before the devil even knows you are there. Some times the best thing to do is to keep moving.

Do I get mad? Hell, yes. And do I sometimes panic? Yes, but overtime I have been learning to let myself feel things instead of fighting it and then release what doesn’t serve me. It isn’t easy and I have failed at it more times than I can count. I have learned to that it is ok not to fix everything that the day needs to end so the dawn will come again. Sometimes with that light comes more than just mere illumination, sometimes there is a new perspective.

Two weeks ago, I started tutoring a young man in math and English. Mostly math, it vexes him. I adore math and all of the things it gives us. A couple of times in our tutoring sessions, I’ve said something about how math is all around us and if it we like those things why not like math. He will think for a second and say he never thought of it like that.

Hating math doesn’t make it any easier so why not embrace it or at the very least not actively hate it. Just one of the many gives that adopting a pragmatic philosophy has given me.