Monday, Change did not come. Tuesday, Change did not come. Wednesday, still no Change. Thursday, Change briefly stopped in. Friday, Change sundered in and flipped me the bird, which was totally unnecessary. I didn't doubt Change would come. It had been humanity's companion. Photo by Alexas Fotos on Pexels.com When I was born in Pennsylvania … Continue reading Change Our Constant Companion
These last couple of months, I have been trying to finish the edits on The Devil's Due. And it really hasn't been going anywhere. Most of my long term writing projects including this blog have stalled. The pressure from my day job, the ongoing pandemic and family issues have been taking their toll. Then add … Continue reading Writer Underwater
2021 like its predecessor was a year that has left deep grooves in my memory. A year of hope and another year of loss, the last year is more of a blur than I like to admit. Everything has been whipped together in a blender of stress and I am over it. Aren't we all? … Continue reading A Year In Review (Kind of)
Ok is a foreign state of being. There is only doing what I need to do to get through the next minute, hour, day. I get by like this and the days have turned into weeks and months. Moments of happiness are mixed with every other emotion. Each breath, each dawn a victory or a stalemate.
And no victims. Photo by Irina Iriser on Pexels.com In fiction, there is a villain to oppose the hero. In the wake of a villian's terror, victims call and plead for help. In real life, no so much. And that's just the way it is. No matter how much you want there to be. It … Continue reading Sometimes There Are No Villains
This is the second weekend that I have left the Big House on the hill for the wonders of the city and a room in a friend’s home. Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com For the second weekend in a row, the stress and anxiety of the past weeks along remnants of the pandemic have drift … Continue reading Get Away – Don’t Tell
Yesterday, I kneel and reached into the back of the closet for a bag. One that I placed there when I first moved in. It contains items that I kept from my time with Papi. I found the business card that he gave me at our first lunch date. I didn't know it was a … Continue reading Remembering Papi
I can't undo the unintentional damage I caused and that bothers me. There is a part of me that just wants to find the perfect words to make it all better to explain myself and rebuild that bridge. And that is the part that has been waking me up in the middle of the night and draining my wine supply. It is also responsible for me putting a pen in the sink to be washed.
Expect that you won't know what to do from one moment to the next. Expect that people are going to say stupid things like comparing losing your father to join a club. Expect that you won't be able to sleep or you will over sleep. Expect people to treat you different. Or like nothing at … Continue reading What to Expect When Grieving
When did you first meet grief? Were you a child or adult? Or somewhere in between? My family introduce me to grief in dull funeral home in Ohio, somewhere near Columbus. It didn't touch me. There was no way for it through the stoic ritual containing it. Everyone was appropriately sad but not too sad. No room for a wondering mind to question because there was no one talking about it. We went to the wake, then the funeral and finally a family reunion. So in a matter of 24 hours, I was introduced to grief and then pushed outside to play with distance cousins.