Last Tuesday, a very kind and caring psychologist confirmed what I have known for the last 4 years. I am autistic and have been for the last 48 years. Autism as a condition has been recognized as a condition since 1943. Today, diagnosis comes with levels instead of labels. The old systems of labeling people as high or low functioning was misleading. People who were diagnosed with high functioning autism felt that their struggles were being ignored. Those labeled as low functioning were often dismissed. I am a level one autistic which means I have low support needs and can mask (or hide) my autistic symptoms. People with level 2 autism have more support needs and have more difficulty masking. Those with level 3 can not mask their autism and have the highest support needs. For a more nuanced description please check out this article: Understanding Types and Levels of Autism.
My own diagnosis came after years of not knowing why I struggled. Yes, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety but even treating those conditions many of my struggles continued. Life seemed so easy for everyone else. While I watched many of my college friends go on to dream jobs or at least well paying jobs, marriages and homeownership, I was working whatever job I lucked in, dealing with a series of bad relationships and renting rooms. Things did go a little better when I became a teacher. Paychecks became steady and I found a little house to rent.
Daily life is still a struggle. My new diagnosis does not alleviate the struggles, it brings them into the light. It is understandable that many newly diagnosed adults become overwhelmed by everything. This may be especially true for individuals who are actively unmasking—who are learning, perhaps for the first time, to stop pretending to be neurotypical in order to make others more comfortable. Unmasking is not just a relief; it’s a grief. Grief for the years spent trying to force yourself into roles, routines, and relationships that didn’t fit. Grief for the burnout, the misunderstandings, and the missed opportunities. And yet, there’s also a strange kind of joy in finally being able to say, “This is how my brain works.”
In addition, there is the weight of realizing just how much of the world is working against you as well as the true extent to which you were masking. Things often become worse. Once the mask comes off, putting it back on is tricking. Some like my good friend, Dezi, find it impossible to hide themselves again for anyone’s comfort. I still mask. I have learned that my ability to mask is both an asset in my career and a way of maintaining my safety.
There’s comfort in community, too. Even before receiving my official diagnosis, I’ve begun connecting with other autistic adults—many of whom were also diagnosed later in life. Their stories echo mine in ways that feel validating and deeply human. They validated my experiences and affirmed that I wasn’t broken. We talk about sensory overload, the exhaustion of socializing, the wonder of special interests, and the thrill of being understood without explanation. Although, I find it comforting to ask clarifying questions. The ability to verify meaning has been wonderful.
If you’re reading this and wondering if you might be autistic, or if you’ve recently received a diagnosis yourself, know that you’re not alone. Diagnosis isn’t the end of the road—it’s the beginning of a journey that, while still challenging, can finally be walked with honesty and self-compassion. The first steps of that journey may not be as wonderful as you think. Answers don’t always bring instant relief. It takes time.
Give yourself that time.
A Brief Timeline of Autism Diagnosis
1943 – Dr. Leo Kanner identifies and describes “early infantile autism” in 11 children in the U.S.
➡️ One of those children was Donald Triplett, the first person officially diagnosed with autism. He lived a full and independent life in Mississippi and passed away in 2023 at the age of 89.
1944 – Dr. Hans Asperger describes a similar condition in Austria, later known as Asperger’s Syndrome.
1981 – Asperger’s work is introduced to English-speaking clinicians, raising awareness of autism in individuals with average or above-average intelligence.
1994 – Asperger’s Syndrome is officially included in the DSM-IV, recognized as a distinct diagnosis related to—but separate from—autism.
2013 – The DSM-5 is released. Asperger’s Syndrome, PDD-NOS, and other related conditions are removed and folded into a single diagnosis: Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).
➡️ The DSM-5 also replaces the misleading “high” and “low functioning” labels with a 3-level support needs model:
- Level 1: Requires support
- Level 2: Requires substantial support
- Level 3: Requires very substantial support
2020s – Increased awareness leads to more adult diagnoses, especially among women, people of color, and others historically overlooked under earlier diagnostic models.
📚 Resources for Learning and Support
For Autistic & Neurodivergent Adults
Whether you’re newly diagnosed, self-identifying, or supporting someone who is, these resources offer compassionate, affirming, and community-based insight.
🔍 Foundational Learning
- Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) – https://autisticadvocacy.org
Advocacy and educational resources created by and for autistic people. - Embrace Autism – https://embrace-autism.com
In-depth, research-based articles, especially for late-diagnosed adults. - Neurodivergent Insights (by Dr. Megan Anna Neff) – https://neurodivergentinsights.com
Clinical psychologist with ADHD and autism. Offers infographics, assessments, and coaching tools for all neurodivergent minds.
📖 Books by & for Neurodivergent People
- Life on the Bridge by Kaelynn Partlow
- Unmasking Autism by Devon Price
- ADHD 2.0 by Dr. Edward Hallowell & Dr. John Ratey
- Divergent Mind by Jenara Nerenberg – On neurodivergence in women and people socialized as female.
- Loud Hands: Autistic People, Speaking – An anthology from the Autistic Self Advocacy Network.
- Refuse to Be Done by Matt Bell – A neurodivergent-friendly approach to writing and creative work.
🌐 Websites & Communities
- Kaelynn’s Autistic Angle – Facebook & YouTube
- AuDHD Support – Found on Instagram and Reddit; look for hashtags like
#AuDHD,#Neurodivergent - Neurodivergent Lou – https://neurodivergentlou.com – Accessible, inclusive resources for masking, stimming, burnout, and more.
- ADDA – Attention Deficit Disorder Association – https://add.org
A great source for adult ADHD info, community groups, and webinars.
🎧 Podcasts & Creators
- Squarepeg Podcast – Late-diagnosed autistic adults share their stories
- Neurodivergent Moments – A comedy and conversation podcast hosted by ND comedians
- Yo Samdy Sam (YouTube) – Talks about autism, masking, burnout, and identity
- Neurodivergent Magic (podcast) by ND coach Megan Griffith
- Paige Layle (YouTube/TikTok) – Autism, ADHD, and mental health awareness
- Kaelynn Partlow – Therapist, speaker, and advocate creating short-form videos on practical neurodivergent support
Lucinda Rose 