The days have grown dramatically shorter in my mountain home. The sun was setting as we walked the dogs. The Autumn Equinox is upon us and it at this time of year that I think of what I will banish my from my life. The idea is to banish something in the fall that holds me back from balance.
There are a lot of things on this list; debt, self-doubt, along with a few bad habits that no longer serve as even inadequate coping mechanisms.
The truth is that I have gotten to the point a lot of American’s do in their forty’s. I am talking about the middle aged crisis. Life has started to slow down or at least I have. The aches and pains have grown into MRI’s and iced knees after every walk. The weekends are too short to recover from the work week.
I haven’t been so lost and so happy at the same time. My home life isn’t perfect, but I love my family. I love the jokes we make and how we work together. I love my boyfriend and the freedom that our relationship gives me to be myself. A year into dating and it is only getting better.
Things are good and they are bad at the same time. An ex used to tell me that I needed to get my shit together. He meant it as an insult. But, The thing I realized is that adulthood is a continuous cycle of getting my shit together, watching and predicting obstacles, trying to avoid them and then the crash as everything comes down. Balance isn’t an easy thing. It requires a lot of re-balancing and adjustments. Yes, I do need to get my shit together just like everyone else.
No one has the perfect life.
I don’t have an answer for the one thing that is going to bring me closer to balance once I cast it out. This equinox, I think is going to be hectic.
Or maybe I do.
I think I will work on banishing the idea that I can do everything, that I should do everything and there is time to do everything. Writing is happening more and more. I am not writing as much as I would like, but progress is being made. Exercise is happening on a daily basis even if it is only walking the dogs. I am getting more sleep than in the past. My life is good. My art is developing.