I ran out of spoons on Monday when forces combined to make my normal day, mentally three times longer than usual. There were some physical challenges as well. All of which resulted in this writer feeling like she had been run over by a semi. A semi that backed up and did it again and again for three hours straight.
First, I went into to the day job on Sunday. Four or was it five hours later, I walked out the door without having accomplished what I had come to do. There was no time when I got home to commit to my normal self-care/maintenance. The morning rolled around and the list of undone things was weighting me down before I even got in the car for the drive down the hill; unknowing leaving the dogs unsecured which would lead to the demise of some unattended baked goods. I wouldn’t know about that until after my workday had ended.
The spoons ran out, because they aren’t limitless. No one has limitless amounts of energy in adulthood when it comes to doing our day to day tasks; especially people dealing with chronic illness. Think about your day and what exhausts you the most. Everyone has task they do that wear them out.Now, sprinkle some anxiety and depression and the number of spoons you have in a given day may not be as many as you think.
Even if I had been able to come home and do my thing on Sunday night, the spoons would have run out. No matter how carefully you take care of yourself, bad days are going to happen. It is like that expression, you can’t change how people treat you but you can’t change how you react. You can’t change the bad day,but you take care of yourself afterwards.
So Monday night, there was a detour on the way home to replace the baked goods and get a bottle of wine. After talking the dogs for a walk and declaring that I had no spoons left, I retreated upstairs. I did the bare minimum of writing work, mostly composing the first draft of this post, played some Minecraft and went to bed. Yesterday, I did much the same except for making sure that I took twenty-minutes to eat my lunch and compose myself before tackling the second half of my day. The day went much better, still exhausting, but better. We had pizza for dinner. Although I was prepared to make dinner as plan, I did not turn down the offer to eat out.
This morning, I woke up rested and feeling much better with eight hours of sleep under my belt. The day is going to be long. There is a meeting first thing and then the day gets into full swing. I may feel drained at the end of the day or I may be alright. Either way, there will be self-care tonight in the form of dinner with my family, a walk with the dogs and a glass of wine before curling up with a good book.
How do you take care of yourself? Is self-care a part of your daily routine?
Lucinda Rose is an author and teacher living and working in the mountains of Virginia. She is the author of Blood Child, a paranormal mystery and is working on her next project, Shadow’s Tale. You can follow her on Twitter, Facebook and Instagam.