Up with the throbbing head again
No wine to blame
stumbled out the door
into the world
locking myself out
meandered my way back in
set to work
putting things here and there
walked the dog
recycling to the bin
errands ran
dishes to the sink
clothes to the hamper
litter to the bin
walked the dog again
finished the dishes
three pills
then off to bed
little moments building a day
a life
A good man died today, or maybe it was yesterday.
News of his passing just reached me today
A good man died
And in his honor I’m drinking some whiskey
Some sweet Jack that he would have liked
My heart weeps and my world quakes
But its foundations still hold firm
I may weep and I may wail
But my world has not been shattered.
My grief does sting , but it cannot, will not eclipse
That of those
Who held his heart their hands
Who lost their sun and moon today
To them and for them
I hold my glass up high
And weep still more tears
For grief, I cannot comprehend.
I will miss you, Chris. Be at peace, you are loved. You are remembered.
You are something
Unique in the universe
Something valuable
There is truth in this
Believe or not believe
You are something
more than you
and blessed in the universe.
Every nine weeks, my students write a new I-Am poem to help build their writing portfolio and so they can see how they changed over the course of the year. It is interesting to read them because often times even though they know that their poems will be read by me they confess little truths about themselves. The format is simple and can be altered easily to let them express themselves more freely. Tonight, I decided to write my own to get my creative thoughts flowing.
I am tired and burnt out
I wonder if I will ever cease being living in a state of permanent exhaustion
I hear the not so quiet sounds of students working
I see myself getting older and wondering where all the time went
I want to do so much more than I am
I am constantly working to find a way out
I pretend that I have it handle, but I’ve never really been good at this game
I believe there has to be a way, a better way than the one I am living
I touch the brace on my leg and count the days until it is off
I feel the pain between my shoulder blades taunting me
I worry that there will never be another book and the thing my body has become will be permanent
I cry too often
I understand the cycle and know that tomorrow or tonight I will find my fight again.
I am myself and this is only temporary
blinded by smoke
scored by the heat
nothing but the most bitter fruit
left to eat
nothing left but to fight
to fight
to die
and maybe then be heard
or be seen on CNN
and misunderstood
still better than
do nothin’
being the big man’s punk
and doing my time
in the oligarch’s machine
better to go out
with a stone in my hand
than dying in an attempt to live
the promised life
The end of the line, no more changes
chances or extra turns
no more thoughts of redemption
last minute saves
you used all the rope that you have been given
used it up tying knots to keep yourself from falling
but you keep slipping further and further behind
you need to save face and do what you got to do
things just pile up and weigh you down
you never get a head and everything ounce of dust
that lands on you is the one that breaks
more than camel’s back
better get going
cause the good has already got gone
Happy Endings
are only the beginnings
Only the beginning
Only the beginning
And getting to
the beginning
takes work
lots and lots of work
Just like what comes
after.
No power left to protest
only tears to weep
just trying to stick to the plan
the dream
the lie told to all children
come to bittersweet fruition
otherwise known as adulthood
I can, I can, I will start writing tonight.
The hour is late and my mind is foggy,
but I will, I will write something tonight
profound and interesting it may even be
Before my head hits the desk and
my fingers forget their marks
I will, I will write something tonight.
every time you see me
you see the most beautiful me
that there is
and the most beautiful me
that there will ever me
and it is a gift
that you give to me
that I wish so much
so very much
to give back to you
in a new ending loop
of what love is suppose to be
And is
And will be
