Hectic. I need a better word for hectic. But the word summons up my life these last two months. It was been one thing after another after time consuming other until I turn around and see that November is already here.
Well not quite and for that I am glad. I’ve taken this last weekend to head out of town. Normally, I don’t go out of town on Halloween as I like to spend the time honoring my ancestors and waiting for non-existent trick or treaters. This year after so much time in doors and not traveling I am taking the opportunity to stay with friends in Richmond and go to a Halloween parade that I have admired for years. A mini adventure to be sure.
Working from their craft room table so many of the thoughts and their corresponding weigh have evaporated from my shoulders allowing a great deal more work to flow. Breaking from routine can create a freedom of thought that for me lets me reconnect with my muse and things happen. (It also allowed to sleep 11 hours guiltfree.) The return to routine on Tuesday will, I hope, have a little extra energy along with three or four more chapters edited. (I’m 50% through the second round of edits.)
My day job is becoming more manageable and that leaves more free space in my noggin to be creative. With that in mind, I may resign from my tutoring position to free up even more space. It has been good for me financially while filling me with joy. The time it takes, however, driving up and down the mountain takes it toll especially in the winter months. It is something to think on.
In September, I had a small health scare. My chest began to hurt and I was exhausted. The school nurse checked me out and said my heart was fine, but if I felt as bad as I sounded I should go home. My stubborn self opted to see if I felt better in an hour. Ii didn’t. If I would have let myself put my head down on the desk, I would have fallen asleep. Once that happened, I asked to leave and my admin shooed me out the door. Two hours later after a nap, I felt no better and called my doctor who sent me to the hospital. Good news, it wasn’t a heart attack. Bad news, they weren’t sure what was happening. The only conclusion was the incident was more than likely related to having contracted COVID-19 last year.
Since my infection, recovery has been slow and I’ve had fits of fatigue that waylay me for days at a time. This time, it took three more days until I was back to myself. I’ve tried to be kind to myself, cut back on caffeine and increases as best I can exercise and meditation.
Tonight while I am not going to be home, I will be honoring my ancestors and beloved dead by living and exploring the world around me. Loss is never easy and waking this morning to silence instead of the usual Samhain text from Ed was hard. It isn’t hard all the time. There are just moments when the weight of his absence bares down on me full force causing me to stagger and catch my breath.
When I return home I will light the candles and say the words that rest in my heart for my ancestors and beloved dead, Ed among them. And though the veil will close, they are with me as I walk through this life toward the next one.
Be well, my friends, and stay spooky.