Writer Underwater

These last couple of months, I have been trying to finish the edits on The Devil’s Due. And it really hasn’t been going anywhere.

Most of my long term writing projects including this blog have stalled. The pressure from my day job, the ongoing pandemic and family issues have been taking their toll.

Then add to that lovely mix, I was in the middle of a reading lesson when I was called to the office. Always a little nerve racking and down right terrifying under my last administration. It was a quick walk, no point in delaying doom if that was coming.

The principal, assistant principal and the social worker were circled around two women talking. I moved to join them noting they were the mother and sister to one of my students. They had come to tell us that they were moving. I believe that my jaw hit the floor and then bounced back before I could say anything.

Most students with IEP’s have team that surrounds them. This student’s team has been come especially close. Losing the student was heart-breaking enough, the losing the team another heart break. Honestly, I have become a better teacher and human being through working with this students and the team.

We thought the move was happening immediately, and three weeks later she is still with us. Something I am happy about as well as mystified by.

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

The emotional roller coaster that began that day has only added tracks. I get off and suddenly, I am back on. Soon after that ride began, I noticed that one of our dogs had a swollen head. Off to the emergency vet that day when it appeared to be getting bigger and then trips to the regular vet by my godfather, Sunbear, and finally a biopsy before we found out the news. Our beautiful pity princess, Stella has cancer. So many tears, so many tears. They stop and then they return.

The whole family got on this emotional roller coaster. And we are still riding it. Cancer is never fair.

The weight of all of this along with the day to day stress has left me numb and a new type of writer’s block has descended.

I am underwater. I can’t seem to make it to the surface for very long these days.

The time it has taken to write this blogs has been the longest I’ve been able to tread water in a while. Much of that is because of my chosen family who has dealt with my fatigue and mind numbness with love and understanding as well as ice cream.

I will resurface again my friends or maybe I will learn to write underwater.

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