Everyday I wake up day with the hope that today will day that make another concrete step towards writing for a living.

And somedays, I make that step. Other days, I fall into bed only having day dreamed about the stories I wanted to tell.

Writing for a living or writing for my main paycheck is an aspiration. A dream and goal which I work towards. But at nearly 47, I wonder if it is what I really want. Or more precisely is the reality of that dream what I want.

Writing full time sounds glorious but one thing I learned when I first started on this journey is that for the majority of full time writers if you aren’t writing you aren’t making money. Well, that as well as the chances of becoming a best selling author is more difficult that one things. It isn’t just about the book, it is also about the timing.

There is a lot more that is out of control of a writer except the words they put down on the page. And I put a lot of words down; a hundred thousand this past year or more. I am not leaving my day job.

It is simple. Writing is not bring in the money I would need to make that move. I like health insurance and the steady paycheck. More to the point, I need those things. On top of that I do actually like my day job. Helping kids who are like me, neurodivergent, has been very rewarding albeit stressful. But maybe, just maybe, my writing career is farther along than I think.

There are more days when I write then when I don’t. There are more days when I am working on the work and more productively so than in the past. Even now, I am putting down my allot words for the day before going and taking a nap after moving furniture. The work isn’t always easy but I am more open to doing it and learning about it than I was.

I know that last statement may seem odd but when I first began my writing journey, I couldn’t take much if criticism. I took everything personally. If someone gave me a suggestion, I often thought they were telling that I was doing something wrong instead of trying to help me. It took a while for me to see that it wasn’t personal. Even the reader who left a review saying I need to hire an editor is someone I am grateful. They thought enough of my book to leave a comment and they were right the book did need more editing. (Although, I did hire an editor.)

So currently, I am not writing for a living, but writing is something that I intend to do for life. And that is perfect for now.